Reign Report: “Drawn and Quartered”

So, this was actually a great episode, in that my major complaint about the show (its tendency to drop subplots and characterizations without a second thought, so for example Catherine’s use of a python to suggest Nostradamus not leave town was never really ever addressed, and by that I mean they barely interacted for the rest of the season – not because he was avoiding her, just for plot, and even then there was none of the snake-related tension you might expect) was addressed. EVERYBODY got some consequences! Bring your one-night-stand and her kid back to the castle? Her existing friendship with your wife is torpedoed. Shove a powerful nobleman’s son into a dungeon to die? That nobleman’s going to be proving his power by forcing your hand on some stuff! Constantly hang out with your douchey ex? Your fiance’s probably going to be sad about it. And of course, my favorite: try to gently poison Catherine for her own good? Ooooh, buddy, don’t. (The slightly more analytical version of that is at the AV Club, and I actually suggest you read this one just because the plotting impressed me. This season might go from super-fun mess to amazing pulp if this keeps up.)

It was a serious episode, as evidenced by the many Serious Capes. Some of them were fine, like Greer’s mourning cape, which was of a piece with the other clothes this episode that reflected her relationship troubles:

Castleroy can’t be sure about her loyalties, and even though she reminds him he knew exactly how she felt about every goddamn thing in the world when he agreed to marry her, which is totally true, he’s a little upset at the idea that she’s constantly going to see her ex, because he’d like to think Greer likes him a little bit. I call moderate BS on this; we knew Castleroy was going to vanish, but my god, not like this! Don’t have him turn into a dickweed just to further your wretched dudebro OTP! Castleroy’s doofy well-meaning gallantry that turned into supernatural feminst gusto and good kissing with a talent for open communication was hilariously unlikely, but turning him from that into a jealous jerk would be overkill. Show, please, let him just die of plot-itis and be done.

Still and all, it was great when he punched Leith out of grief over his dead daughter and then squeezed Greer’s shoulder like he needed the support. I’m not made of stone.

Is Lord Castleroy turning into a grizzled yet angstily attractive pirate king right before our eyes? He sure is. Does this cape have its own skirt? It certainly does. Does that look pretty doofy? Hoo boy, does it ever.

Is it still the best cape in the episode? By a mile.

What the SHIT is this. I know we’re all using upholstery for capes and doublets, and I’m totally fine with it, but there’s a difference between upholstery (Francis’s cape) and unwanted remnants from the fabric bin of Hell (Mary’s). Look at her face. She knows it.

And her situation didn’t improve!

There is something so inexpressibly sad about this cape in motion, somehow, with its droop-not-drape and not-quite patterning; it’s the deep sigh of overgarments.

Also, while there’s nothing wrong with the dress underneath, I find myself preferring the deeper colors on her as we move into Serious Discussions.

Nicely contrasted with Lola, for example, who spends this scene waxing eloquent about the joys of motherhood before turning into a one-woman detective agency and solving a crime, which is LITERALLY something I asked for in these very recaps last season and the show provided. I didn’t think things could get better.

BUT THEY DID.

That train means business. That train is not fucking around. She could barely drag it behind her, it was so heavy. I love it all.

These two had a huge fight in the dungeons! IT WAS AMAZING. He’s angry she’s not trying harder to save him. She’s angry that she lacks the power of executive decision any more, but she’s even MORE angry that Nostradamus helped Mary against her. “Do not blame me for the CHOICES YOU HAVE MADE,” Megan Follows bellows, as I throw gold coins at her feet as fast as my hands can move.

They part on horrible terms, with him referencing Clarissa (the Wedding Whistle Incident has new life, which honestly shocked me so much my notes were “!!!”) and bitterly peacing out. While I will be furious if this turns out to be the end of Cathy and the Proph (did Rossif Sutherland land a pilot? Can somebody check?), it makes sense that this bitterness would come to a head. He’s in the wind at the end of the episode, and given this new and serial Reign, I’m actually super excited to see if she suffers in this new depth of loneliness.

Then again, she might not be lonely for long, because you know what they say. When God closes a door: