Red carpet season is skidding to its conclusion soon! In the meantime (and until I get a replacement working Rome DVD from Netflix for Channel Flip, and write up my feelings on The Hour being cancelled using only pictures of me crying, and also that novel I should be working on nobody even talk about it), the show must go on! I don’t usually cover the Grammys. but after the best Standard and Practice email of all time, governing the coverage of the female form, I had to check in. And as it turns out, it was quick work, because there were pretty much only two divisions at the Grammys: those who looked at that memo and said, “Okay, sure, I’ll manage,” and those who looked at that memo and slowly lit it on fire as they laughed and laughed, and then called their stylists and said in Supervillain Voice, “They think they can tell me how much boob is too much? Well, I haven’t even BEGUN to boob.” Let’s break this down. Beyonce, who… Read more »

Red Carpet season continues, with the awards show that decides it’s time to introduce a ManiCam so we can intensely scrutinize even the cuticles of our chosen royalty! It’s the awards show that dares to ask, Who will award actors if actors don’t award actors? And last night, the Screen Actors Guild answered that call, in an awards show for which actresses and stylist teams seemed determined to look fancy, yet confused and weirdly uncomfortable! However, after a brief misstep in a particularly haute-couture velvet lump at the Golden Globes, Marion Cotillard manages to buck both the Confused and Weirdly Uncomfortable trends by pulling off a dress that, on anyone else, would look like a white bustier and hastily-gathered curtain, and looks insouciantly chic on her. “Oh, this old thing?” she’s asking, slipping her hands into those pockets. “It’s just a casual waterfall of blue-tinged green ballgown silk that brings out my eyes and somehow sells the high-low hemline despite all the odds against it.” Welp, fashion case closed. However, the case against some of… Read more »

Awards Season is ON. Now begins the parade of celebrities carefully dressed in borrowed finery that will go along with a desired public image plotted more carefully than a John le Carre novel. Every awards season, in general, usually has a vaguely-cohesive feel to it, as recent runway trends get condensed to their sparkly essence, alongside the usual standard silhouettes. The Golden Globes, being the first “big one,” is sort of a barometer for the season we can all look forward to. Last year was a year of Full Baffle, in which everyone made terrible decisions. Let’s find out how the wind is blowing this year, starting with the awards show where people are allowed to get drunk all night right at their tables instead of flasking it in the bathrooms during commercials! And speaking of feeling a little drunk: Lucy Liu, you’re up. This look gives me pangs in my heart, and here’s why: it starts with perfect hair and makeup, and a silhouette that’s very modern-Marie-Antoinette in an unfussy way, which I adore… Read more »