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The Catherine Cookson Experience: “The Wingless Bird”

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vlcsnap-14680382
I fell off the wagon about these in a major way, didn’t I? And in the home stretch! Shame on me. For those who are new since my last one (welcome!), a bit about the Catherine Cookson Experience. Catherine Cookson, author of historical potboilers, enjoyed a magnificent heyday between about 1995 and 1997, in which the BBC went NUTS for her and filmed approximately eight hundred of her books in an attempt to employ every actor from Great Britain, Scotland, and Ireland it could get its hands on, and also to use up a lot of sawed-off basketballs they needed to use to simulate pregnancy. More than a year ago, in a fit of good judgment, I embarked on a quest to watch every Catherine Cookson movie ever filmed. As it turns out, that is very difficult, partly because there are so many of them, and partly because some of them are just the worst ever and involve a lot of asshole dads and/or men getting romantically interested in a girl he met when she… Read more »

Oscars 2011 Red Carpet Rundown!

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cate
You guys, Hollywood Prom happened last night! Apparently, it happened to be terrible. I was not watching last night, but because of the miracle of the internet I was updated on the important things, thanks to Twitter and Facebook in general and, during a particular point, no fewer than five people contacting me simultaneously to tell me that Melissa Leo was imploding like a bad souffle. (More on this later.) However, the red carpet was not all bad. I have put together a (truly enormous) post of the highlights, for better or worse. And the winners are…… Read more »

BAFTA Red Carpet Rundown!

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thandienewton
Yay, the BAFTAs happened! I always enjoy a red carpet more when most of the people on it are actually talented. (Oh, you heard me, Hollywood. Don’t even give me that look.) That said, Jessica Alba is in here. I KNOW, I’M SORRY, please don’t confuse her with anyone who can act, etc. (Not that you would. I mean, it’s Jessica Alba.) The good news is that most talented actors on the BAFTA red carpet seem to know how to dress; if it’s not stunning, it’s at least perfectly nice. (There was a whole other cadre of red carpet staples that I am assuming are the equivalent to our reality-show stars, dressed in Desperation Chic. It was grim. I ignored them.) On the flip side, a few people who usually know how to dress fell off the wagon this time. A short parade of lovely gowns, and a few monstrosities, under the cut!… Read more »

SAG 2011 Red Carpet Rundown

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JUliaOrmond
The SAG awards were last night! For those who get confused this time of year (it’s understandable, they really pack them in during Stylist Season), the Oscars are the ones people really want, the Golden Globes are the ones where everyone gets drunk, and this is the one where actors can finally stop pretending they care about any of the categories except the acting ones. The red carpet presence for this affair was a little unexpected, both in terms of who showed, and how they looked. For some of these actors, they’ll regret not wearing their outfits to the Golden Globes instead; for some of these actors, they’ll just regret. (Sad fact: right now the West Coast is suffering a crippling body-scrub shortage, and it’s all these peoples’ fault.)… Read more »

Golden Globes 2011

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gg2011milakunis
Last night was one of the few nights a year when a hundred stylists earn their wings making pretty ladies fight to the death in uncomfortable dresses. Strangely, while most red carpets can be separated into large swathes of “Decent” and “Appalling,” this year everyone seemed to be pulling from the same rack of slightly-tasteful outfits, so the theme of this year’s red carpet ended up being, “Yeah, Okay, Sure.” Let’s check out the sartorial wonderment, shall we?… Read more »

Miss Universe 2010

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missuniverseangola
Last year I covered Miss Universe’s National Costume Contest. I didn’t realize when this year’s was, but it was pointed out that pictures were out and I had better get started. I’m not sure who the actual winner of this event is (I think that doesn’t happen until Monday?). Since I have a different criteria than the judges of the pageant – they enjoy “bras that look like eyeballs” and I enjoy “Icelandic schoolmarm” – I wasn’t sure exactly how to go about picking a winner of my own. I looked for overwhelming trends this year (including Nonsense Capes, Escape from Prom Island, I Was a Project Runway Challenge, and Shit You Have to Carry), but I finally stumbled across a picture that made me realize the difference between perception of these national costumes and their reality. This is Japan’s national costume.   First of all, and I mean this: way to improve over last year, everyone. Sure, it’s completely over the top, but this is Miss Universe, not the Parade of Dignity, so whatever. And… Read more »
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