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Red Carpet Rundown

Red Carpet Rundown: SAG Awards 2017

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It’s strange times. We know it, and everybody on the red carpet at the SAG Awards knows it; the ceremony was peppered with speeches about the fractured state of the union, as if everyone was both aware that it’s easy for things like this to look frivolous during political turbulence, and also as if everyone was so utterly gobsmacked by how little time it took to fracture that union that it was an impossible topic to avoid. Like Annalise Basso, we as a nation are hurling our gigantic chiffon scarves of outrage against the winds of tyranny, opening our arms against the tide of fascism like a drop-shoulder evening gown that actually lets you open your arms. Related: I’m going to do this rundown, and we’re going to get into the usual A Slightly More Bohemian Red Carpet Is Not An Excuse For That Dress commentary. However, we’re going to open with a section of politicized outfits alongside potential organizations to consider if you, like me, want to do your part but also just want… Read more »

Red Carpet Rundown: The 2017 Golden Globes

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  It’s time for the Golden Globes, that shot across the bow of awards season that offers us our first real glimpse of the public images the potential awardees are going to be wearing this year. As always, if you’re worried I’m making fun of outfits on the red carpet because I think it’s fancy dresses and frivolous nonsense, and somehow my previous rundowns don’t convince you, never fear: I wrote two novels about weaponized public image as the world’s most bulletproof cover for political machinations, so probably not. (Those novels are Persona [Indiebound | Barnes & Noble | Amazon] and Icon [Indiebound | Barnes & Noble | Amazon].) Icon opens on a red carpet. I respect the red carpet. It is a merciless machine of celebrity and its power only grows. (My favorite red carpet game: How Many People in This Picture are Actually the Celebrities? I see one. I thrill to the idea that she might be the only celebrity in this picture.)   If you’re here, you probably know all that already.… Read more »

Red Carpet Rundown: 2016 Emmys

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The marvelous ecosystem of red carpet season has begun again. Every autumn, the gentle crinkle of several thousand square feet of carpet-preserving plastic wrap heralds the annual harvest of actors who return to these grounds every year in hopes of spawning more parts. Lest you think I’m saying any of this to be holier-than-thou, let me assure you, I am serious as hell. It’s amazing to watch the edges of the frame and realize this thing is exactly as complicated as you might have once imagined it to be, only add about twice as many staff, invisible conversations with casting directors and designer labels, and a bunch of begrudging agreements with the press that mean everyone stands on the press dais and answers awkward questions and talks about how no red carpet is complete without the fresh zing of Trident. Trident, for all occasions! (The amount of respect I have for the machinations behind the forced-casual-glam of the red carpet is no joke; my latest novel, ICON, is about celebrity diplomats with conflicting agendas; it… Read more »

Red Carpet Rundown: The 2016 Met Gala

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I knew the Met Gala was gaining steam as a mainstream cultural event, but I didn’t realize how much it had entered the fray until I heard 1) that E! was going to be streaming the red carpet live, and 2) that Anna Wintour had forbidden any social media once inside. Together, it’s an almost sublime attempt to appease the unwashed masses (me) while maintaining the proper distance from them by establishing clear social strata. We don’t get to know what goes on inside the Gala, because why would we deserve it? (God, please take everybody’s cell phones, can you fucking imagine this crowd giving up their cell phones, I would straight-up watch a movie about that unfolding in real time.) So! The New Versailles is coming along wonderfully, and it is not stopping me from recapping this red carpet whatsoever. My latest short story is “La beauté sans vertu”; I am invested in red carpets. This year’s theme was “Manus x Machina,” and like all other Met Gala red carpet themes, it was a… Read more »

Red Carpet Rundown: The Oscars 2016

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Oh, we knew this day would come. The stylist gauntlet, the carefully crafted personas, the subliminal messages we’re meant to read into a dress being worn by a person who, the vast majority of the time, is a talented professional actor who desperately hates having to wear this dress and play some version of herself who’s somehow too charmingly artistic to care about awards even though she has to answer half a dozen questions about the half-million-dollar jewelry she’s wearing as someone on her styling staff tugs on her train so it looks good in photos: The Oscars. The levels of navel-gazing and self-congratulation possible with the Oscars have yet to be fully plumbed by science. This year, given public outcry about a lack of non-white nominees (practically a calling card for this award), producers bedecked the red carpet with any vaguely-related PoC it could find, all of whom were looking into the camera with a collective You Know Why expression. Winner of this particularly awkward category: Duane Howard, probably. And the red carpet is… Read more »

Red Carpet Rundown: BAFTAs 2016

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Ah, the BAFTAs; never the showiest jewel of red carpet season, largely because it can only barely bring itself to care about being part of red carpet season. The BAFTAs are so begrudging about the increasing importance of the red carpet that it doesn’t even bother with the hedge nonsense. This isn’t Versailles; you get a few stanchions and then we’re all done, okay? There’s something kind of soothing about a red carpet that secretly doesn’t care. In nearly every shot here, there’s either an awkward architectural feature (those BAFTA columns look like lighting-rig supports that someone decided to brand at the last second), or a clump of people who don’t care who’s taking pictures, or a soothing sea of background folks, or those stanchions, which are perhaps my favorite red-carpet appearance of recent years. The BAFTAs will show up, but you cannot make the BAFTAs care. The outfits reflect this; there’s only a handful, and there was a distinctly “save your best for later” air to the whole thing, so this is gonna be… Read more »
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